New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
