dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
