My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
