my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
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