that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
