i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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