He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
