if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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