I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
