took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
