I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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