Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
