4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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