Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
