ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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