I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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