i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
smell my finger.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
