Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
