two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
