i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
