hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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