i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
