is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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