i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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