So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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