Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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