Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You can't motorboat a personality
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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