Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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