I wish I could punch you in the face.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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