And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
