I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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