I wish my penis had an off switch
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
