mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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