my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm getting married
To pizza
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
