guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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