yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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