I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
