i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
