just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize