I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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