It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize