i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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