No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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