I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
