Umm I'm too high to move.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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