don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
