JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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