drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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