there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
