ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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