You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
