I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize