i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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