i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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