you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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