I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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