Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
