My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
