Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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