I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
