What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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