franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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